wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize