That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize