We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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