small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
