Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
