Don't you send me to vm
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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