I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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