Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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