he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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