Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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