Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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