Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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