Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
