the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
