The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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