On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
