hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
