So drunk its hurt
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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