oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
