i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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