party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
