i'm lost and i look like a hooker
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
