Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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