I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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