is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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