Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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