I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
