my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
