new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Randomize
