Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
She is in my trunk
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize