You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
