He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
