From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
either way he was missing a nipple.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
