Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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