ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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