So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
