at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
