Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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