Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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