STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
