WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
