this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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