please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
