called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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