Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
