Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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