So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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