Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
