Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
