K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
