ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
