I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
