After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
