writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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