This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
