I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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