So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
