Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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