I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize