You smell like a Billy Joel song
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
