if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
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