Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
